By Dr. Cynthia Penne, Psy.D., LCP
A Series on Upgrading Your Mental Health!
Our expert therapists and leadership have shared some of their most effective tips on how to upgrade and prioritize your general well-being. Integrating any of these tips into your daily life will take intentionality, practice and patience. Creating a new habit or routine begins by making a commitment and then persevering. Often, it’s one step forward and one step back. Focus on progress and not perfection. The benefit is worth the effort!
Cynthia Penne is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, and grief. She has a deep-rooted compassion for helping individuals affected with a wide range of social, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral challenges.
Self-esteem is how we see our worth and value in the world. It fluctuates depending on the circumstance where our self-view is reinforced or depleted. It’s often impacted by negative messages we’ve believed about our self as a result of an event or activity that didn’t go as planned (i.e. being let go from a job or not getting invited to a night out with friends). It can also be impacted by how we perceive others’ view of us Try these 5 ways to upgrade your self-esteem:
- Give Yourself Space for Grace: Be kind to yourself and live each day being present to your experiences without judgment. Like when an artist is working on a marvelous painting, they step back to give themselves room to see the whole picture. See if you are being kind to yourself and if you’re not, how can you give yourself grace in the moment (especially when mistakes occur)? Remember, mistakes help us to learn and grow. The more we live in the moment, the more we can see the graces in our life. The more we see the more we have to be grateful for.
- Give yourself Permission to be Good Enough: Practice acceptance of where you are in life. Acknowledge what you appreciate and love about yourself. When the “Not Enough” cloud appears, give yourself permission to see what is enough about you and why you are enough. Celebrate your wins, even the smaller ones because small things make big things happen. Remember you are enough and always have been even if others have told you otherwise.
- See Your Worth through a New Lens: Your worth doesn’t come from others or a false view of self. Limit your social media use. Comparing your life to others should not be a way to give yourself worth. The number of likes you or social media friends receive is not indicative of worth. Don’t place your worth on your job as your job as it is not who you are as person. There is so much more to you. Remember, not giving yourself negative labels such as terrible, ugly, horrible etc. is important. We don’t need labeling.
- Practice Forgiveness and Set Boundaries: Choose to forgive others for negative labels they have said to you or triggered within you. Forgiveness does not excuse, condone, or reconcile you to the one who hurt you. It is for you to be able to let go and live your life as it was intended before the things of this world hurt you. Choose to forgive yourself for believing others and their negative view of you. We often get stuck in the should haves and should have nots. Choose to forgive yourself for being unkind to yourself. Set boundaries to create safety for yourself. Boundaries show we love ourselves and others. It’s okay to say “No” and it’s okay to define your wants and needs. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who love you.
- Do things that Bring you Joy: We are not always happy, anxious, numb, sad, or angry. We have moments of feeling these emotions between other emotions. We can feel multiple emotions in an experience. Use your creativity and interests to help you dig deep into the inner archives of joy in your life. Maybe you feel joyful by singing, reading, dancing, fishing or creating. Whatever activity fits you, allow yourself to be fully present with all of your senses. Take in how your body feels before and after each activity and then allow yourself to just be.
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