We’ve all heard about “mean girls.” There has made movies about them! The incidence of female aggression by young females is on the rise. Here, we’ll focus on why middle school and high school girls can be mean and what parents can do to support and guide their daughters.

Navigating the social dynamics of adolescence is confusing and upsetting for many young girls. One common challenge many girls face is dealing with “mean girls” – defined as female peers who engage in bullying, gossiping, exclusion, and other hurtful behaviors. This damaging behavior is known as “relational aggression” and is actually a survival tactic for those who feel less than, insecure, envious and are immature. Understanding that the pain these girls cause comes from pain they experience; may not comfort those they inflict it upon. Unfortunately, mean girls believe their behavior will yield a reward like increased popularity or attention.

As a parent, your support and guidance play a crucial role in helping your daughter navigate mean girl relationships. By recognizing the signs, fostering open communication, and providing her with the necessary tools, you can empower your daughter to handle mean girls with resilience and confidence, ultimately helping her emerge stronger from these experiences.

Recognizing the Signs

1. Changes in Behavior: Pay attention to sudden changes in behavior, such as becoming withdrawn, anxious, or depressed.

2. Avoidance of School or Social Activities: If your daughter starts avoiding school or social activities she once enjoyed, it could be a sign she’s experiencing bullying or harassment.

3. Physical Symptoms: Keep an eye out for physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or trouble sleeping, which may be stress-related and could indicate that she’s struggling with mean girls.

4. Loss of Confidence: Notice if your daughter’s self-esteem and confidence have taken a hit. Mean girls often target vulnerabilities, leading to a loss of self-assurance in their victims.

5. Changes in Friendships: If your daughter’s friendships suddenly change or if she talks about conflicts with her friends, it’s essential to explore the reasons behind these shifts.

How to Help

1. Open Communication: Create a safe and supportive environment where your daughter feels comfortable discussing her feelings and experiences. Encourage communication without judgment and not with an ear to “fix” the problem.

2. Validate Feelings: Let your daughter know her feelings are valid and that you’re there to listen and support her. Avoid dismissing her concerns, even if they seem trivial to you.

3. Educate About Healthy Relationships: Teach your daughter about the qualities of healthy relationships, distinguishing between healthy disagreements and toxic behaviors.

4. Develop Coping Strategies: Work together to develop coping strategies for dealing with mean girls, such as assertive communication, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care activities.

5. Encourage Involvement in Positive Activities: Encourage your daughter to pursue hobbies and activities that bring her joy and fulfillment. This can help boost her confidence and self-esteem.

6. Seek Support from School Resources: If the situation escalates or if your daughter is experiencing severe distress, reach out to the school counselor or other resources available to support students.

7. Model Positive Behavior: Be a role model for kindness, empathy, and respectful communication. Your actions speak louder than words, and demonstrating these qualities can have a significant impact on your daughter’s behavior.

8. Monitor Social Media Use: Keep an eye on your daughter’s social media activity and intervene if you notice any cyberbullying or negative interactions online. Set boundaries around social media use and teach her how to use it responsibly.

9. Consider Professional Help: If your daughter’s emotional well-being continues to suffer despite your efforts, consider seeking support from a mental health professional at SamaraCare who specializes in working with adolescents.