In the times of Covid-19, much had been written about resilience — that ability to bounce back from adversity and to “convert our pain into our medicine.” But what is resilience, and how do we develop and practice it? What is it that enables some people to cope with trauma and to move forward? The research on resilience points to a few common “protective factors” that make some people more resilient These include the belief in one’s ability to cope and manage their emotions; a connection with others and the social support they provide; and the belief that adversity provides a challenge, not a devastation that cannot be overcome. I agree with Brené Brown, the author of The Gifts of Imperfection, who suggests that resilience is an integral part of what she calls “Wholehearted Living,” the ability to engage life with a sense of courage, connection, and compassion. She also suggests that spirituality is the intangible foundation and essence of resilience, and that it provides us with a perspective, meaning, and purpose. Spirituality is an experience bold enough to overcome feelings of despair, shame, and vulnerability in the face of hardship, and to provide a sense that we are in this (messy thing called life) together, connected to a power greater than ourselves through love and compassion. In addition to spirituality, resilience seems to involve a few other behavioral patterns that constitute an inner strength in the face of adversity. Hope, being much more than a feeling, provides a mind-set that involves having realistic goals and a belief in ourselves, trusting that, with persistence and a flexible plan, we can cope. Hope provides us with greater determination, a tolerance for disappointment, and self-confidence. In addition, it can even be learned by children if they are given a consistent application of love and limits. Practicing critical thinking and challenging the negative cultural messages that we are not enough, is another factor in resilience, along with stopping the tendency to numb our vulnerability and painful feelings with drugs, alcohol, food, or other agents. We cannot selectively numb only our negative emotions. If we try, we lose our capacity to experience joy a zest for life, and our sense of self.

1. Resilience can be cultivated and practiced through some of the following means:
2. Practice some type of spirituality, whether it involves being in nature or in a house of worship.
3. Develop and maintain stronger friendships with others.
4. Reflect on the strategies that have helped you to cope with adversity in the past.
5. Face your negative emotions, and resist the temptation to numb yourself.
6. Reach out for professional help if you are feeling overwhelmed with your circumstances and have lost a sense of hope. This can help you to restore a healthier perspective and to reconnect with your purpose and meaning in life.

Jeffrey L. Santee, PhD, DCEP, is a clinical psychologist with advanced training in cognitive therapy, behavioral medicine, mindfulness meditation, EMDR, and energy psychology. He specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety disorders, and stress-related health problems.