By Rae Nevling, LCPC

 A Series on Upgrading Your Mental Health!

Our expert therapists and leadership have shared some of their most effective tips on how to upgrade and prioritize your general well-being. Integrating any of these tips into your daily life will take intentionality, practice and patience. Creating a new habit or routine begins by making a commitment and then persevering. Often, it’s one step forward and one step back. Focus on progress and not perfection. The benefit is worth the effort!

Rae Nevling is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Licensed Minister. She specializes in Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy to treat anxiety and depression.

Communication is an essential part of relationships and we can all learn new ways to become better. Start with these suggestions and see how much clearer your communication skills can be! Here are 5 ways to upgrade your relationships by improving your communication skills.

1. When communicating practice being clear and considerate: To promote clarity, try to be specific when sharing your thoughts and feelings. Pay attention and ask clarifying questions. Considerate communication emphasizes positive affirmations, shows consideration when expressing negatives, lets one know you are listening even if you disagree, and works to communicate without judgement.
2. Practice defining problems in specific, non-blaming terms: When working to solve a problem, make requests for change that are specific and observable. Ask for increases in the person’s behavior (i.e. please do more of this) rather than decreases (i.e. stop doing that!). Avoid “mind reading” which is, assuming the person automatically knows what you need or how you feel.
3. Practice listening while promoting empathy and understanding: Use the Speaker-Listener Technique. Alternate roles as either the Speaker, who shares their thoughts and feelings about the issue, or the Listener who is responsible for showing the speaker their message was heard. This promotes effective communication by adding structure to discussions.
4. Understand the purpose of what is being communicated: Communication tends to serve one of two purposes – venting (i.e. sharing feelings), or problem solving. To achieve effective communication, clarify if a person needs help solving a problem or just needs to vent.
5. Commit to setting time aside to talk: Set aside at least 10 to 15 minutes two to three times a week to discuss suggestions and/or complaints in a constructive, controlled, and respectful manner.

Learn more about Rae Nevling here.