With celebrating St. Patrick’s Day this month, I’d like to highlight a story that carries some important mental health lessons from an Irish American author. I recently had the pleasure of reading “The Ride of our Lives,” by Mike Leonard. The author shares stories of a cross-country RV trip with his aging parent and his adult children. As one reviewer states, the book is “life affirming, alternately hysterical and poignant; rich in heart and humor.”
I couldn’t put it down. I was impressed by the innate resiliency and wisdom in many of the family’s stories. Warning, there’s a spoiler ahead. One story in the book exemplifies the importance of self-efficacy in mental health.
The popular mental health website, Very Well Mind, defines self-efficacy as:
“a person’s belief in their ability to complete a task or achieve a goal. It encompasses their confidence in themselves to control their behavior, exert an influence over their environment, and stay motivated in the pursuit of their goal.”
In my practice, I have found many clients who suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions struggle with self-efficacy. When dealing with mental health challenges, people can feel like they can’t count on themselves. They might think they’ll be too depressed or anxious to do something they want to do. If they’re dealing with low moods, they may think negatively about their abilities, and not attempt something that may benefit them. People with ADHD might perceive certain school subjects or job responsibilities beyond their abilities. But with the right approach, we can break the cycle of self-doubt and improve our capacity to believe in our abilities.
The author, Mike, gives us a powerful example of self-efficacy. He describes how he suffered a series of head injuries during sophomore year of high school. He developed vision problems and cognitive problems. His grades started going down. Now this was the 1960’s, so student failure wasn’t as scrutinized as it is today. The school did not intervene. Mike’s parents talked to him about “hitting the books,” but they saw he was trying, and they weren’t “overly concerned.”
Mike describes a moment when he realized his academic struggles may have been caused by his head injuries. He states, “Maybe I wasn’t stupid, just different. These were my private thoughts. I never talked to a doctor, a counselor, or my parents about this possible explanation for my struggles in the classroom. I just talked to myself…over and over and over again. Before long I had talked myself into believing that failing grades didn’t mean that I was going to fail in life. In fact, it would be the opposite. So what if I was lousy at math, English, biology, and all the other subjects; I was good at…well, there wasn’t anything that I was good at, not yet, anyway. But I would find something. Or something would find me. I convinced myself of that” (p. 177).
Just like Mike was able to understand that his struggles originated from his injuries, I start the process of improving self-efficacy by helping clients understand how their condition is affecting them. With an expiation that makes sense, we explore methods to address the symptoms that stand in the way of their goals.
Mike’s method was to use positive self-talk and commit himself to exploration. He talked himself into believing that he would find something that worked for him. He kept trying in school even though he was struggling. He kept engaging with life, trying new things, and he did find success. I’ll let you read about that outcome in the book. Once he discovered his path forward, he worked hard to achieve the goal, progressing a little bit at a time.
This is the way to develop self-efficacy. Start accomplishing small goals, and work towards larger goals step by step. Use methods that help you to stay motivated and on track. Self-efficacy is strengthened through other means as well. Observing the accomplishments of others, who we consider similar to ourselves, can help us believe in our abilities. Hearing others tell us that we have the capabilities to succeed increases our belief that we can reach our goals. I can see that Our emotional state also plays a role in our self-efficacy. Anxious or depressing thoughts discourage us, so attending to these thoughts and working to see the situation differently can help you towards your goals. Mike had these factors working in his favor.
So as we approach spring, I encourage you to exercise your self-efficacy. What is one of your goals? Think about what you need to increase your motivation, reduce thoughts and feelings that get in your way, and cultivate beliefs that spur you onward. Maybe you need to turn to friends and family for some affirmation, to hear that others see your abilities and strengths. Maybe you need to meet some accomplished people who you identify with, so you can picture yourself reaching similar accomplishments. If you need support to figure out how to build your self-efficacy, counseling can be a great option. Whatever approach you take, you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Check out the book if you have the chance, it’ll have you laughing and smiling from start to finish. Maybe you’ll find some inspiration in the stories too.
